Trauma

This isn't one of our sources, but that's OK. It's a book I'm reading for class called 'Trauma and Recovery' by Judith Herman. It has a lot of great text from people who have been through traumatic experiences. Much of it could be useful, I think.

Holocaust Survivor Primo Levi:

"For living men, the units of time always have a value. For us, history had stopped."

"We have learnt that our personality is fragile, that it is in much more danger than our life; and the old wise ones, instead of warning us 'remember that you must die', would have done much better to remind us of this greater danger that threatens us."

Other victims of trauma:

"I saw my father kicking the dog across the room. That dog was my world. I went and cuddled the dog. He was very angry. There was a lot of yelling. He spun me around and called me a whore and a bitch. I could see his face really nasty, like someone I don't know. He said he'd show me what I'm good for if I think I'm such a great piece. He put me against the wall. Things went white. I couldn't move. I was afraid I'd break in two. Then I started to go numb. I thought: you are really going to die. Whatever you've done, that's the sentence."

"I would do it by unfocusing my eyes. I called it unreality. First I lost depth perception; everything looked flat, and everything felt cold. I felt like a tiny infant. Then my body would float into space like a balloon."

"I recapture that moment precisely when my helplessness is so bottomless that anything is preferable. Thus, I unscrew my head from my body as if it were the lid of a pickle jar. From then on I would have two selves."

"Sometimes I feel like a dark bundle of confusion. But that's a step forward. At times I don't even know that much."

"I am icy cold inside and my surfaces are without integument, as if I am flowing and spilling and not held together anymore. Fear grips me and I lose the sensation of being present. I am gone."

"Did I truly wish to open the Pandora's box under my father's bed? ... Could I reconcile myself without bitterness to the amount of my life's energy that had gone into the cover-up of a crime? ... I believe many unexpected deaths occur when a person finishes one phase of life and must become a different sort of person in order to continue. The phoenix goes down into the fire with the best intention of rising, then falters on the upswing. At the point of transition, I came close to dying along with my other self."

This text is eerily reminiscent of the Kafka/Boy named crow story, and I think we could easily integrate them.